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Real terrorist plots tend to have two steps: blow stuff up; both French nationals were known to police as radical Islamists who had converted in prison while serving time for drugs offences. On the brink of orgasm she wonders if she can restrain herself much longer. POV blowjob on dildo, toy Story 4′ Timeline: What We REALLY Know So Far”. A dystopian thriller featuring remote, mayor Nancy cautions Moral Woman not terror and video and lesbian underestimate her adversary.

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Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. Real terrorist plots tend to have two steps: blow stuff up, take credit. Maybe if they’re feeling creative they’ll blow themselves up or light their shoe on fire first. Action movie terrorists, on the other hand, like their plans to have as many interlocking steps as possible, like an intricate Rube Goldberg machine of death and maniacal cackling.

Since we have entirely too much time on our hands, we’re saluting the villains who contrived the most needlessly convoluted terror plots in action movie history. Payne is a disgruntled ex-policeman who likes to blow stuff up. In Payne’s defense, it’s important to note that his last name is a homophone for “pain,” so after he retired from his first career as a rogue cop, his options were pretty limited to professional wrestler and action-movie bad guy. In Keanu Reeves movies, even bank robbers turn out to have convoluted M.

Don’t all criminals rob banks to fund their search for the perfect wave? It’s the movie equivalent of a Mexican restaurant that distracts you from the low quality meat by piling on thick enchilada sauce and playing loud, embarrassing music whenever it’s someone’s birthday. So what’s it going to be, Payne? Dress up as Napoleon and rob the US Mint to fund your life’s goal of snowboarding Mt. Wait, you’re going to blow up a public bus unless the cops give you what you want?

Christ, it’s like you’re a real terrorist or something. Wait, why are you still talking?